Ten Minute Break
by All-Knowing-Oracle
Summary: During a break from being in fanfics,the RENT characters discuss how THEY feel about being in all our stories. Rated for MUCH language! Mentions just about ALL pairings EVER,especially MarkRoger. And we wrap it up with chapter five.
1. Chapter 1

_**Ten Minute Break**_

**A/N: Heyy! This is basically just a random fic I came up with when I was sick and exhausted one night. _Thanks to Liz1986, Blue Tears and Falling in love with you for allowing me to mention their stories 'Destroyed', 'Preoccupied' and 'An Angel holding my Hand'! _And when you're done with this one, go check those ones out! This story is not meant to offend any author, story or pairing. I'm just joking around. However, if you don't like something, go ahead and flame. Flames don't bother me, and heaven knows there's plenty to flame here...

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**"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS! TEN-MINUTE BREAK FOR THE FOLLOWING FAN FICS: **_WICKED_**, **_CATS_**, **_SWEENEY TODD_**, **_SOUND OF MUSIC_**, **_JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR_** AND...OH YES, **_RENT_**." Roger, Mimi, Mark, Maureen and Joanne and all the other random _RENT_ characters that usually pop up in fanfics came bursting into the fanfic character waiting room, where characters received their 10 minute fanfic breaks and where they waited when they weren't needed for fanfictions. Angel, Collins and Benny were already waiting there, Angel fixing her makeup, Collins reading the paper and Benny throwing little bits of tissue at the characters from _Cats_(he had a thing against the people from _Cats_)

"God, I thought that last fic would never end..."Roger sighed as he plopped down beside Benny.

"Tell me about it. And I didn't even get to do very much!"Mimi whined, sitting beside him.

"What was it this time? Another character death story?"Angel guessed.

"Worse. An angsty Mark/Roger fic, where I break up with Roger two chapters into it!"Mimi moaned. "God, teenagers and their angst-fics..."

"Haha, that sucks for you! I was the focus character in MY fic,"Maureen teased.

"Really? That's a change. Usually the only time you get to be a main character is when you're being paired with _Mark_!"Mimi snapped back.

"Hey! You've been paired with Mark too!"Maureen pointed out.

"Haven't we all?"Roger asked.

"It sure seems like it. I can't get through a story without making out with someone!"Mark agreed.

"Well lucky _you_. No one ever wants to write about _us_,"Collins muttered, motioning to himself and Angel.

"That's not true, there are plenty of Angel/Collins stories,"Mark assured them.

"Yeah, but they're not nearly as popular as all the other ones,"Angel muttered, pouting.

"The only stories featuring us that DO get reviewed are the ones where we're being paired with _you _guys,"Collins added.

"Yeah, the most attention I get is from Angel/Mark stories!"Angel whined.

"People try to write stories where I'm the main focus...but no one ever reads _those_,"Collins grumbled.

"Hey! Collins stories get more reviews than Joanne stories!"Joanne argued.

"But you're in _all_ stories that Maureen is in,"Collins sighed.

"Yeah, and I usually say four relevant things and then I'm just there in the background,"Joanne said.

"Be glad people _like _you when you're in stories!"Benny snapped suddenly. "Sure, I get put into stories, but I'm always the bad guy, and people always review to say 'I hate Benny!'. And every now and then some nice kid will _try_ to humanize me...and they get: 'Hey, great story...but Benny still sucks! HAHAHA!'"Benny folded his arms, leaning back in his chair and scowling.

"Well, to be honest, the only reason you're usually _in_ stories is to screw around with Mimi,"Roger pointed out.

"Exactly! Doesn't anyone ever consider how _I_ feel about this?"Benny asked. There was a pause.

"No. You're the only antagonist we have. People need to hate you, or all the characters are loved. And what's the fun in a story where _all_ the characters are loved?"Maureen replied. Benny sighed.

"I suppose you're right. And there _are_ plenty of good Maureen/Benny stories out there..." he said. Maureen shuddered.

"God, if I have to hook up with you one more time..."

"Hey! I'm not THAT bad!"

"You're really not,"Mimi assured him. "No offense Roger."

"None taken. I'm gay in most fics anyways,"Roger shrugged. "Hey Mark, you mind taking a breath mint or two before we have to go back? Most of those stories are getting to the big climax, which usually involves us making out and/or getting into bed."Mark sighed.

"Anyone got a Tic Tac?"he asked.

"Here,"Joanne handed him one. "Hey! This marks the third thing I've said in this fic so far!"

"Wow. You really _don't _do anything!"Collins realized.

"Hey, she's gotten to hook up with _me _a few times,"Roger interrupted.

"And me!"Maureen jumped in.

"And me, of course,"Mark added.

"Who _hasn't_ hooked up with you, Mark?"Maureen retorted. Mark paused, thinking.

"Huh...you know, I can't think of one single person I haven't been paired with. I mean, there have even been Mark/Benny's!"he cried.

"But Mark/Angel's are more popular,"Angel said.

"Well Mark/Roger is the MOST popular!"Roger insisted.

"There should be more stories where Mimi and I hook up. That would be hot,"Maureen commented.

"I like Mimi/Angel friendship ones,"Mimi said, edging away from Maureen a little.

"Aw, thanks sweet pea!"Angel said. "I like those too. It makes me feel good to be more than just the comic relief."

"_You_?"Maureen repeated. "_I'm_ the comic relief! You're just the sad memory!"

"_You're_ just there so Roger has someone to pick on,"Collins stated in Angel's defense.

"Yeah, I'm always yelling at you, aren't I?"Roger said, thinking about that.

"We've been paired a few times,"Maureen pointed out.

"That's true,"Roger said nodding.

"Hey, how are you liking all those Collins/Maureen stories?"Collins asked Maureen.

"Oh, those are pretty good. Certainly different,"Maureen said.

"Yeah. Almost as good as Roger/Collins,"Collins laughed.

"Hey, it's a change to be kissing someone other than Mark for once. No offense, Mark,"Roger said.

"Please, I get just as bored always having _you_ down my pants,"Mark assured him.

"Whoa! You guys actually...?"Angel made a gesture with her hands.

"Oh yeah. Plenty of times,"Mark said, nodding.

"Haven't you been in the rated M section?"Roger asked.

"I don't make it there too often. I'm too _squeaky clean_!"Angel snapped sarcastically.

"Huh, that's funny. I'm there a ton!"Maureen said. "Usually popping up to swear a lot and be the first character to learn that Mark and Roger are screwing each other."

"I hate Mark/Roger fics,"Mimi declared suddenly. "I'm either: there in the first chapter to have a huge fight and break up with Roger so he can go fuck Mark; am very understanding of Roger's need to go fuck Mark; or am dead/die in the beginning so Roger can go fuck Mark."

"Wow. It must really suck to be Roger's girlfriend when so many writers support Mark/Roger, huh?"Joanne asked. "Hey, four lines!"

"Tell me about it. The only times I get any action is in Roger/Mimi stories, Benny/Mimi stories, or the Mark/Roger stories where the reason Roger and I break up is because I'm screwing Benny,"Mimi recalled.

"Hey! We've slept together at least twice,"Mark insisted.

"Yeah, in the stories where I _die_,"Roger grumbled.

"Well at least your death gets incorporated into the stories. I'm always dead to begin with!"Angel complained. "I mean, _April_ is almost in more stories than me, and she's dead when the show starts!"

"And I go from one extreme to the other, being completely depressed and miserable that you're dead, to not mentioning you at all. I'm usually too busy hooking up, you guessed it, Mark and Roger,"Collins said.

"By the way, how's that Collins/OC coming? You know, that one with the Brooke lady?"Angel asked.

"Oh, that's coming along great!"Collins replied. "It's a cool idea. And people really seem to like it too!"Angel 'humphed', crossing her arms.

"Sure, people all say _I'm_ their favorite character. But do they read Angel/Collins stories? Hardly ever! Then they pair Collins with some OC and suddenly people are interested!"she whined.

"Hey, there was that really good story that was Angel/Collins. You know, the one where I cheated, and we broke up? It was also a Mark/OC?"Collins recalled.

"Oh yeah! I know which one you mean! It's too bad that one's over. I like Mark/OC's. It gives me people other than you guys to hook up with! And they're usually girls too, for a change."

"Well let's face it, Mark: you're the gayest straight guy ever,"Maureen said.

"Is that why you dumped me for a girl?"Mark snapped.

"Hey! I have come running back to you on more than one occasion!"Maureen pointed out. "Teenage girls just _love_ their Mark/Maureen fics."

"You know what story I like?"Benny asked. "I like that one with Mark's Camera and Roger's Guitar. It's really unique."

"Oh yeah! I _love_ that thing, it cracks me up every time!"Collins agreed, snorting with laughter as he spoke.

"Yeah, that one's great. Finally there's some action between things in the loft other than just Roger and I!"Mark said.

"You'd think you'd be used to it by now. I mean, half the _RENT_ section has to be made up of Mark/Rogers,"Mimi sighed. "While I'm off being dead...or with Benny...or moved away...or on drugs..."

"I like the stories with Elsie in them!"Maureen proclaimed.

"The cow?"Benny asked.

"Yeah! They're always really random. I love random stories, I'm SO funny in those!" Maureen laughed.

"You know what stories I hate the most?"Roger asked.

"The ones where you're killed off in the first chapter?"Angel guessed.

"Well, yeah. But especially the ones where we have _babies_!"Roger cried. Everyone groaned.

"Oh God, I can't _stand_ babies,"Mark agreed.

"Teens I can deal with, I don't mind the stories where we're all parents fifteen years in the future. But _babies_..."Collins shuddered.

"Especially that stupid 'Bohemian Day Care' thing. That was TORTURE!"Roger said. Everyone groaned even louder.

"Whoever thought that up should be forbidden to write here any more,"Joanne said, and the others all nodded in agreement.

"Well at least I didn't have to give birth to anything in that. I hate stories where I'm pregnant,"Mimi muttered.

"I hate stories that are set too far into the future. Then we're _old_!"Maureen whined.

"All our ages are so fucking inconsistent,"Mark added. "We go from being teenagers in high school, to twenty-five year olds, to parents of sixteen year olds, all in the same day!"

"It's a lot of age changing, all right,"Joanne commented. "YES! SIX!"

"Hey Mark, how many times have we ended up in the shower together? Angel and I are taking a poll over here,"Roger called, as Angel counted several check marks on a piece of paper.

"Almost as many times as I've had to get into bed with you because you're sick,"Mark replied.

"Or as many times as you've been under the mistletoe!"Maureen chimed in.

"Or ended up very drunk and hooking up,"Collins added.

"Don't forget those snowball fights,"Benny jumped in.

"Wow. There's really no avoiding it, huh?"Mark said suddenly.

"There doesn't seem to be,"Roger sighed. There was a pause. "Hey Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna date?"Mark shrugged.

"Might as well, we're going to be forced into bed over and over again anyways."

"And you're really not that bad looking."

"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."Mimi's jaw dropped.

"What about _me_? Jonathan Larson wrote US together, Roger!"she screeched.

"It doesn't really matter. We're just going to be stuck in all sorts of odd parings in all these fanfics anyways,"Joanne sighed.

"Yeah...but just think of the fun we can have in these ten minute breaks!"Maureen said happily.

"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS: TEN MINUTE BREAK IS UP! PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY FOR THE FOLLOWING LISTING OF STORIES AND CHARACTERS NEEDED. **_WICKED_**. _ELPHABA AND FIYERO'S WEDDING, CHAPTER TWO. _CHARACTERS NEEDED FOR CHAPTER TWO: ELPHABA, FIYERO AND GLINDA. SUMMARY: ELPHABA AND FIYERO GET MARRIED AND GLINDA IS FORCED TO DEAL WITH HER BEST FRIEND AND HER FORMER FIANCEE'S LOVE..."The _RENT_ gang watched as Elphaba and Fiyero walked by happily, Glinda storming behind them, pouting and looking miserable.

"I kind of feel bad for her. She's always getting pushed to the side so Elphaba and Fiyero can get it on,"Angel said.

"I can sympathize..."Mimi muttered, glaring at Roger and Mark. The announcer went on and on, listing several _Cats_ stories(Benny stuck his tongue out at them as they walked by). The _Sweeney Todd_ group was called out for two stories, leering at the Von Trapp children as they walked out the door. Then Maria and the children were called out themselves, all screeching 'Do Re Mi' at the top of their lungs, forcing even Jesus to want to strangle them. Luckily, Jesus was called to his own story, leaving the _RENT_ gang last.

"**_RENT_**. NEW STORY: _BOHEMIAN BAR MITZVAH._ CHARACTERS NEEDED FOR CHAPTER ONE: MARK, ROGER, MAUREEN, COLLINS AND ANGEL. SUMMARY: MARK HAS TO RETURN TO SCARSDALE TO TEACH A HEBREW CLASS...AND HE'S TAKING HIS FRIENDS WITH HIM."The group all grimaced, frowning at each other.

"Who's stupid idea was _that_?"

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**Don't get that last one? Go to my profile page and look under 'Stories Authored' Okay, so this was just a bunch of stupid, silly randomness. And I had to end it with Mark and Roger getting together to show that I was NOT trying to bash Mark/Roger fics(I realized that it sounded like I was picking on them a lot)Thanks again to those awesome writers who allowed me to mention their stories in here! Oh, and I absolutely invented that _Wicked_ story at the end there, in case you couldn't tell... :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I have to repeat my 'disclaimer' from the last chapter: This story is NOT meant to pick on anyone's stories or thoughts. I'm just joking around, it's all in good humor. If you hate it, go ahead and flame it. I could honestly care less.**

**Chapter Two**

"Oh, come on Grizzy! Bring it on!"Benny shouted. He had bothered the _Cats_ characters to the point where Grisabella had challenged him to an intense arm wrestling match. Grisabella hissed at Benny as he tried to force her hand down on the table, all the other cats gathered around excitedly to watch.

Angel and Collins were sitting as far away as possible from Benny, pretending they were not from the same musical as him. Angel was brushing out her wig, as Collins flipped through the newspaper. They both turned to look at the clock, sighing simultaneously.

"Is it almost ten-minute break?"Angel asked hopefully.

"I dunno. I can never remember when those things happen,"Collins shrugged.

"Me neither,"Angel sighed. "It's really been a slow story day, huh?"

"Yeah. All we got was a some fluffy Mo/Jo and an angsty Roger/Mimi,"Collins replied.

"Wait...then where's Mark?"Angel asked.

"He's running back and forth between the Mo/Jo and the Roger/Mimi,"Collins explained. Angel frowned,

"Why does _he_ get to be in two stories while _we're_ in none!"she demanded.

"Oh Angel, when will you learn? It is physically impossible for someone to write a story that does not feature _Mark_!"Collins snapped sarcastically. Angel sighed again.

"I'm just as cute as _Mark_..."she grumbled.

"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS: TEN-MINUTE BREAK FOR THE FOLLOWING STORIES: **_WICKED, CATS, SWEENEY TODD, SOUND OF MUSIC, JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR_** AND **_RENT_**."Maureen and Joanne were the first out of the door.

"Wow, that was one heck of a morning!"Maureen announced, sitting down beside Collins. Roger, Mimi and Mark followed, Roger with his arm wrapped around Mimi. However, the second they stepped into the break room Roger shoved Mimi aside.

"Oh God, I don't think I can _stand _any more Roger/Mimi's!"he cried, immediately wrapping his arm around Mark instead. Mimi glared at them.

"Fuck you, Roger!"she snapped.

"Sorry, that's _my _job, honey,"Mark replied. Mimi continued to scowl as she sat down beside Angel.

"I want more stories where I have my OWN boyfriend,"she whined.

"Just be glad you're _in _stories, sweetheart,"Angel scoffed.

"Yeah, instead of sitting here watching Benny arm wrestle cats..."Collins added.

"DAMMIT! I want a re-match!"Benny shouted, as Grisabella forced his hand down.

"There's something familiar about that green chick from _Wicked_. I just can't place my finger on it,"Maureen commented as she watched Elphaba over in the _Wicked _corner.

"I know what you mean,"Collins agreed. "That guy from _Law and Order _has been driving me _insane_."

"Excuse me, does _this_ belong to you?"The group all looked up to see Macavity holding Benny by the collar and looking pissed off. The _RENT_ gang all exchanged glances.

"...no. He's with _Sweeney Todd_,"Collins replied. Benny frowned.

"Hey! Guys! That's not fair! GUYS!"Benny cried, as Macavity dragged him off towards the _Sweeney Todd_ corner.

"_Great_ Collins, now we have no antagonist!"Joanne snapped.

"Oh shit..."Collins muttered, realizing his error.

"Oh! I wanna be the antagonist!"Angel volunteered.

"Your name is _Angel_ for crying out loud, you can't be the antagonist,"Roger, who was now sitting on top of Mark on the table, snapped. "I think _I_ should. I'm the bad-ass rocker."

"But you're always a central character,"Joanne pointed out.

"So it's settled. _I'll _be the antagonist!"Maureen said with a grin.

"You already _are _in most fics. Some people really hate you,"Mimi stated. Maureen frowned.

"Well people hate _you_ too. All those Mark/Roger fangirls love to make you an evil bitch,"she retorted.

"I guess we've all got a little bit of antagonist in us, huh?"Collins said.

"Yeah. We don't need Benny!"Angel declared.

"Hey, I heard you guys got a story last night,"Joanne said to Angel and Collins.

"Yeah! It was a whole _one-shot_!"Collins replied sarcastically.

"And it consisted of us kissing and giggling and acting like complete asses!"Angel added, also in mock perkiness.

"And it was rated _K+_!"Collins cried, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice.

"Wow. You guys really need to make it to the M section,"Roger commented as he pulled his shirt off.

"Seriously. You'd be _amazed _at what goes on there,"Mark agreed, his shirt already gone. Collins and Angel exchanged longing looks.

"If only kids over the age of 11 wanted to write about us,"Angel sighed.

"It just doesn't seem fair that _we_ have to be all cuddley and cute, while Mark and Roger are off fucking like rabbits in the M section!"Collins whined.

"Aw, don't worry Collins. I'm sure it's not _that_ great,"Angel said comfortingly.

"Are you kidding me? It's amazing!"Roger cried, as he began taking off his pants. Angel frowned.

"You're not helping,"she snapped.

"Could we please move on from this subject?"Joanne asked. "I have nothing to contribute. Not that I'd say much even if I _did_..."

"Hey Joanne, I've been meaning to ask you...how come sometimes you're young and hot, and other times your like, a beast?"Maureen asked.

"The same reason that sometimes Roger has short hair and other times he has long hair," Collins added.

"It all depends on whether the writer is using the movie version or the play version," Joanne concluded.

"I like the movie Joanne. She's better in bed,"Maureen commented.

"Well I like the play version better,"Collins argued. "She's more real."

"I like to think I'm a good character either way. Not that anyone _uses_ me..."Joanne muttered.

"I like short-haired Roger, he's hotter,"Mark decided, pulling himself away from Roger long enough to speak. Roger stopped, examining his long hair.

"Hey!"he cried.

"But either Roger is hot enough for me!"Mark assured him, pulling Roger back on top of him.

"Would you two get a room or something?"Mimi snarled.

"We would, but this is the only room we have,"Roger pointed out, as Mark's pants were tossed across the room. Mimi sighed, crossing her arms and turning away.

That's when a blood-covered April came trudging over, looking miserable.

"Anyone got a few band-aids for my wrists?"she asked. The group all checked their pockets.

"Nope. Sorry,"Collins replied.

"I've got some heroine!"Mimi remarked, pulling out a small package of white powder from her pocket. April eyed her for a minute.

"That'll do,"she said. And she snatched the drugs, walking off, still gushing blood. Mimi frowned.

"Hey! She just stole my stash!"she realized. "I needed that for the next chapter!"

"It's okay honey, you're better off without it. You always die in drug stories,"Angel pointed out. Mimi nodded.

"Good point,"she agreed.

"I never die!"Maureen announced happily.

"Lucky _you_,"Angel, Collins and Mimi growled.

"I know!"Maureen replied, with an evil-sounding giggle.

"On second thought, maybe you _would_ make a good antagonist,"Collins grumbled.

"I couldn't, I'm too loved,"Maureen insisted, completely changing her opinion from earlier.

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that. People hate you for dumping Mark,"Joanne reminded her.

"Yeah, and people always make _you_ the one who ruins everything,"Mimi added, with a little too much glee in her tone. Maureen glared at her.

"Well at least I'm not the druggie whore who ruins Mark/Roger stories!"she retorted.

"Oh, _screw _Mark/Roger stories! All the good stories are the ones where I'm cleaned up and put back with Roger!"Mimi argued.

"Oh really? How many of _those_ are there?"Maureen snapped.

"As many as there are Mark/Maureen's!"Mimi spat back.

"People LOVE Mark/Maureen's!"Maureen gasped. "Everyone knows Mark is head over heels for m--"

"OH GOD, _ROGER_!"

Mimi grinned smugly as Maureen scowled.

"You're right. Screw Mark/Roger stories,"Maureen grumbled. Suddenly Sweeney Todd came storming over, looking annoyed.

"Excuse me, do you think you could keep your orgasms _down _over here? Some us are _trying _to read!"he snapped, waving a book in Collins's face. Collins patted his shoulder.

"We'll do what we can, my man,"he assured him. Sweeney Todd huffed and stormed back over to his corner of the room.

"I don't see why we have to share a room with all these other musicals. I mean, we're good enough to have our own section, why don't we get our own room?"Angel asked.

"Well this is an improvement on the last room. Remember when we used to be in the Musicals/Plays room, with _all_ the other musicals?"Collins recalled.

"Oh yeah! Before RENT got turned into a movie!"Mimi remembered.

"Back when Roger only had short hair, and Joanne was always a beast,"Maureen added.

"I hated it in there. Those _Phantom_ people thought they OWNED the place,"Collins grumbled.

"Oh God, and they were _always_ singing!"Angel groaned. "I swear, if that Phantom did not shut up, I was going to mangle more than just his face!"

"At least they had some hot guys in there,"Mimi commented.

"You mean hot guys who were interested in _you_,"Angel added with a small grin towards Mark and Roger.

"Yeah. I miss that..."Mimi sighed longingly.

"Jesus is looking pretty good today,"Collins remarked, looking towards the _Superstar_ side of the room. Angel slapped him.

"You can't talk that way about Jesus!"she cried.

"Why? I'm not religious!"Collins pointed out. "Though people always tend to make me."

"Yeah, what's up with that? You're all spiritual all of a sudden,"Maureen snorted. Collins shrugged.

"I guess I just seem very pious, with my Stoli and my marijuana,"he commented.

"Who has marijuana?"Roger asked, appearing beside Collins.

"Hey, you guys are done screwing around already?"Collins asked.

"We decided to save our energy. We think there's going to be some updates in the Mark/Roger department tonight,"Roger replied, wrapping his arm around Mark's waist.

"Oh Lord, help us all..."Mimi muttered. Suddenly a voice came over the loudspeaker.

"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS: TEN-MINUTE BREAK IS UP! PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY FOR THE FOLLOWING LIST OF STORIES AND CHARACTERS NEEDED: **_SWEENEY TODD._** STORY: _A LITTLE LANDLORD._ SUMMARY: _SWEENEY TODD AND MRS. LOVETT DECIDE TO BAKE A LANDLORD INTO ONE OF THEIR PIES_. CHARACTERS NEEDED: SWEENEY TODD, MRS. LOVETT AND BENNY. WAIT..._WHAT_? BENNY? BENNY ISN'T FROM _SWEENEY TODD_!"The RENT gang had to stifle their laughter as Benny was dragged off into the _Sweeney Todd_ story. The voice came back, sounding annoyed.

"WOULD THE CHARACTERS OF _RENT_ **PLEASE **KEEP BENNY IN THEIR _OWN _STORIES AND **NOT **GIVE HIM AWAY AGAIN!"

"Sorry!"the RENT cast all chimed in unison. The voice kept going, listing all the others stories until the room was empty, save for the RENT characters.

"**_RENT_.** NO NEW STORIES. NO UPDATES. SUCKS TO BE YOU."

The RENT crew all sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to process what had just happened.

"Is that _possible_?"Mimi finally asked.

"Apparently,"Collins commented.

"How can there be NO new RENT stories? People love RENT!"Angel cried.

"There must be an epidemic of writer's block,"Joanne concluded. Suddenly Roger grabbed Mark by the collar, and began dragging him across the room.

"Roger, what are you doing?"Collins called after him.

"Mark!"Roger replied, perfectly contented with this free time.

"You know, I think they've got the right idea,"Angel commented. Collins grinned widely.

"Let's get into the M section tonight, baby!"he cried, pulling Angel under the table. Maureen eyed Joanne.

"Movie-version...good,"she stated, winking and pulling Joanne into her lap.

Mimi sighed, watching everyone around her. That's when she noticed the still blood covered April sitting beside her, trying to get an ACE bandage on her wrist. April looked up at Mimi, and the two stared at each other for about a minute.

"Oh fuck it."And Mimi and April began hooking up.

Which, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should never stop writing RENT-fics.

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**A/N: Okay, there was my even more messed-up continuation of this strange story. After 'Tomorrow For Them' I needed to write something that would cheer me(and hopefully my readers)up a little, and I also had a few ideas left over from the last one.**

**All the randomly placed Mark/Roger is officially dedicated to cameragirl, to make up for the lack of Mark/Roger in my last story. **

**Oh, and just for the record, I do not really think Freddi Walker is a beast. All right, I need to shut up now. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Mimi sat alone in the Ten-Minute Break room, flipping through GQ magazine, and sighing as she stared at all the gorgeous men. All her other friends were in fanfics at the moment(yes, Angel and Collins FINALLY got a fanfic!)and she was extremely bored, and in need of male companionship.

As if on cue, the door came flying open, and Mark came running in, looking as if he had just received a slap across the face. His eyes were wide, his jaw dropped, and he looked utterly horrified.

"Hey Mark...what's up?"Mimi asked casually. "Shouldn't you be in that Mark/Roger fic?"Mark opened and closed his mouth several times before answering.

"...I got killed off!"he finally cried out. "_I_ got killed off!"

"Aw, that sucks,"Mimi shrugged. Mark was shocked.

"No, you don't understand, Mimi..._I_ got killed off! ME! I'm _Mark_! I _never_ get killed off! I'M 'THE ONE OF US TO SURVIVE', GOD DAMMIT!"Mimi ran to Mark's side, patting his shoulder and hushing him.

"Shh...Mark, relax. It's okay. We all get killed off sooner or later!"she assured him calmly.

"Not _me_! Everyone loves me! HOW COULD I GET KILLED OFF!"Mark shrieked frantically.

"How did you die?"Mimi wondered.

"Roger gave me AIDS, and _I_ died! _He's_ supposed to die! Not me!"Mark slumped into a chair, holding his head in his hands and breathing deeply. "Oh God...I think I'm having an attack!"Mimi sat down beside him, rubbing his back and helping him breath.

"It's okay Marky..._baby_..."Mimi said, letting her hands run lower, as an idea struck her. "Roger is just a great big jerk anyways! You need someone nicer...someone prettier...someone like, say...me! Mark/Mimi's are pretty hot, you know..."

Then Angel and Collins walked in, back from their one-shot, and Mimi immediately jumped away from Mark, who wasn't paying attention to her anyways.

"Well that was short-lived,"Collins sighed.

"Just be glad we got something, hun,"Angel replied. Then they spotted Mark, who was still brething heavily.

"What's going on?"Collins asked.

"He got killed off,"Mimi replied.

"_Me_! _I_ got killed off, Collins!"Mark began again, leaping up. "How could they DO that to me?"

"Relax Mark, we've all been killed off at some point,"Collins assured him.

"_Some _more than _others_..."Angel added bitterly.

"But I'm MARK!"Mark cried. He sighed, sitting down again. "I need a smoke..."

"Sorry buddy. After that last fic, I'm gonna need ALL the pot I can get!"Collins said.

"Why? What was so bad about it?"Mimi asked.

"We got a _puppy_. A FUCKING _PUPPY_, MIMI!"Collins hollered. Angel patted his shoulder.

"Deep breaths, Collins. It was only a one-shot,"she reminded him.

"Yeah, but now it's gonna inspire little girls to write MORE _puppy_ stories!"Collins groaned, also sitting down. Angel placed herself on his lap, leaning back and playing with his hat.

"Just keep reminding yourself of that last time no one wrote any fanfics..."she said. Collins grinned, recalling their one venture into the M section.

"Heh heh...now THAT offered some good inspiration to older writers!"he giggled. Then the door opened and Maureen and Joanne came walking out. Maureen looked annoyed.

"Well that story sucked!"she announced. "I didn't even get any tongue!"

"Honeybear, it was rated K,"Joanne reminded her.

"_Still_! You'd think middle schoolers could go a little further than _hugging_!"Maureen whined. Then they spotted the hyperventilating Mark. Maureen frowned.

"What happened to-"

"Don't get him started..."Collins warned.

Then the annoying, droning voice came over the speakers:

"TEN-MINUTE BREAK FOR THE FOLLOWING FANFICS: **_WICKED_, _CATS_, _SWEENEY TODD_, _JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR_, _THE PRODUCERS_**AND **_RENT_**."

Collins frowned.

"_The Producers_?"he repeated. "Since when are they in this room?"

"Since _Sound of Music _was kicked out last week. Didn't you get the memo?"Mimi asked.

Roger suddenly came dashing through the door frantically. He looked around, then spotted Mark, and went bolting across the room.

"Mark!"he cried. Mark looked up...and scowled.

"You bastard! You gave me AIDS!"he shouted.

"Ooh! Drama in the _RENT _corner everybody!"Jesus called. Before they knew it, every other musical in the room was gathered around Mark and Roger.

"Five dollars to come see Mark and Roger fight!"Benny called, jumping up onto a chair.

"Benny! We are NOT selling tickets to this!"Angel scolded.

"Not for _five dollars_! Are you kidding? This is worth at least ten,"Collins snorted. Angel glowered at him. "Er, I mean...no fight! Nothing going on! Move along everybody!"The crowd dispersed, grumbling as they returned to their corners.

"Mark, I'm _really _sorry,"Roger insisted. "Everything was horrible after you were killed off anyways! The author got tons of flames, and the story's been dropped!"Mark looked at Roger...and grinned.

"Well, in that case...I forgive you!"And he and Roger shared a hug, causing all the other musicals to let out sighs of 'Aw!'

"No one ever flames when _I_ get killed off..."Mimi grumbled.

"Amen to that,"Angel sighed.

"Hey Joanne! You were in a story the other day!"Collins announced suddenly.

"No way! Pookie, you didn't tell me that!"Maureen squealed. Joanne grinned proudly.

"And you know what the best part is? It got reviewed!"she proclaimed. Everyone cheered.

"Yay, congratulations Joanne!"Angel cheered.

"Yeah, _congratulations_,"Benny snapped mockingly.

"What's _your _problem?"Maureen demanded.

"He's just pissed because the most reviews he ever got was from the time he was baked into a pie in the _Sweeney Todd_ fic,"Mark snorted.

"Hey. Less talking, more tongue."

"Sorry Roger..."

"Aw Benny, I'm sorry no one likes you,"Angel said sympathetically. Benny sighed.

"Maybe I should just move into _Sweeney Todd _for good,"he grumbled.

"Sounds good to me,"Collins shrugged. Angel slapped him.

"No Benny! If you go, who will Mimi screw around with behind Roger's back?"she reasoned.

"Mark,"Benny offered.

"Mark? Why?"Maureen asked.

"Because _everybody_ screws around with Mark,"Benny pointed out. The others all nodded.

"He's got a point there,"Collins stated.

"Mark, you whore!"Maureen called.

"Okay Benny, go join _Sweeney Todd_. We don't need you,"Angel decided.

"Cool. It was nice working with you guys!"And Benny walked off.

"So...now we're down a character,"Joanne stated.

"I guess this means April will become more popular,"Mimi said.

"_April_..."Angel growled angrily. Collins hushed her. The others frowned.

"What's her problem?"Maureen asked.

"She has this thing against April, because she's been in more stories and she's dead when the play starts,"Collins explained.

"I'M ALIVE FOR 3/4 OF THE FRIGGING PLAY! SHE'S NOT EVEN _IN_ THE PLAY! IT'S NOT FAIR!"Angel screamed furiously.

"Jeez, is today National Flip-Out Day or something?"Maureen grumbled, as Collins slammed his hand over Angel's mouth.

"Damn, Jesus is looking fine..."Mimi commented, completely ignoring everyone else.

"_Mimi_!"Joanne cried.

"Hey, it's like, okay to say that now!"Mimi defended. "You know, 'cause of the _DaVinci Code_ and all that shit."

"Just because people have said it doesn't make it okay,"Joanne pointed out.

"Good enough for me,"Mimi shrugged. "It's not like any of those _Producer_ guys are anything great."

"True,"Collins agreed.

"Now that blonde chick on the other hand..."Maureen said, gazing over at the _Producers_ corner.

"Forget it, honey. It's not like we'll ever have a crossover,"Angel remarked.

Suddenly Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett came storming over, tossing Benny down before them.

"Keep your annoying landlords in your OWN stories!"Sweeney snapped.

"Aw, you don't want him either?"Angel asked.

"_No_!"Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett yelled. And they stormed off.

"Well, we can rule _them _out for possible crossovers,"Collins stated.

"They're snobby anyways. They think just because they've been revived they're better than the rest of us!"Maureen huffed.

"I hear they're all insane anyways,"Mimi said.

Suddenly the room was filled with the annoying voice again:

"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS! TEN-MINUTE BREAK IS UP! PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THE FOLLOWING LISTING OF STORIES AND CHARACTERS NEEDED..."Collins and Angel immediately crossed their fingers.

"Please don't let there be any _RENT _stories!"they pleaded.

"**_RENT..._**"

"Dammit!"

"**_PRODUCERS CROSSOVER..._"**

"SCORE!"Maureen cried, leaping up, and running to the door excitedly.

"CHARACTERS NEEDED:** ROGER, ANGEL, COLLINS, JOANNE, MAUREEN...**"

"HECK YES!"And Maureen went bolting out the door.

"MAUREEN!"Joanne cried, running after her quickly.

Roger grudgingly pulled himself off of Mark.

"We are SO not finished yet,"he insisted, as he stormed off.

"Collins...we're in a story that's not a one-shot!"Angel cried.

"And there are no puppies!"Collins added excitedly. The two skipped out the door giggling hysterically, as the _Producers_ characters followed them, looking concerned.

"Get used to it,"Mimi warned them as they cautiously walked through the door behind the _RENT_ crew. Mimi and Mark sat there, alone in the Ten-Minute Break room.

"Well, here we are again,"Mark remarked. "We're hardly ever together, huh?"

"Yeah, tell me about it,"Mimi agreed. Suddenly she realized that Roger wasn't around. She smiled, placing her hand on Mark's leg. "Hey Marky...have I ever told you I think you're pretty cute?"She edged her seat closer to Mark...

"**_ATTENTION_! THERE IS A CORRECTION! IT WAS MARK, NOT MAUREEN WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE _RENT _FIC! THANK YOU.**"

Mark leapt up.

"I'm coming Roger!"he called happily as he skipped off out the door.

"God dammit!"Mimi grumbled, crossing her arms. Maureen came storming through the door.

"I was _so _close to getting down that girl's shirt, too!"she whined. She scowled. "Fuck Mark..."

"I tried,"Mimi sighed. Maureen let out a deep breath, sitting next to her. The two eyed each other for a moment.

"You up for making out?"Maureen asked.

"Heck yes,"Mimi replied. And the two went at it.

Benny suddenly popped up behind them, frowning.

"Hello? I'm still here too!...nobody ever wants ME!"

* * *

**A/N: If you don't know the _Sweeney Todd _revival that joke about them being insane wouldn't make sense, but I wanted to put it in just in case we have any _Sweeney_ fans! Okay, so my brain is fried. This week we started rehearsals for our summer musical at the theater I go to. We're doing _Chicago_ and it's BRUTAL dancing, so I have just been an exhausted mess these last few days. I apologize for any typos or errors. But anyways, I can't say if this is the last chapter or not. Whenever I think I'm done, more ideas pop into my head. Send me your thoughts/comments/complaints.**

**Pools-of-sorrow, all the Benny stuff is dedicated to our musical! Hahaha**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yes, I know, another chapter! I bet you're all asking "When will this story ever end?" Well the end is near, I assure you. Anyways, I'd just like to thank Persephone-Atrus-Remy for letting me use "Test 1, 2, 3" in this chapter. Thanks! Okay, hope you enjoy.

* * *

**

**Chapter Four**

Roger and Joanne sat eyeing the door of the Ten-Minute Break room carefully, each with a fierce glare plastered on their face.

"They've been in there a long time,"Roger commented.

"Tell me about it,"Joanne agreed, crossing her arms, eyes not leaving the door. Benny, who was yet again left out of any and all stories, frowned at his two glaring companions.

"What's the matter with you two?"he asked.

"We got another Mark/Maureen this morning,"Roger replied.

"They've become a little too popular for our liking,"Joanne added.

"I would imagine,"Benny said, nodding. "Well it's not like it means anything, right? I mean, they're just stories."

"Yeah. Just stories where they happen to be hugging,"Joanne snapped.

"And kissing."

"And holding hands."

"And fondling each other!"

"And making out!"

"And doing God-knows-what else with MY boyfriend!"

"What about MY girlfriend?!"

"Hey, hey. Relax you two,"Benny commanded. "You're getting all worked up over nothing. Mark and Maureen were never even really together, remember? It's was only mentioned in the play, therefore it never actually happened."Roger and Joanne both sighed.

"He's got a point,"Roger admitted.

"Yeah. I know. We're just over-reacting,"Joanne confirmed.

"ATTENTION! TEN-MINUTE BREAK FOR THE FOLLOWING STORIES_: **CATS**, **WICKED**, **SWEENEY TODD**_, **_JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR_**, **_THE PRODUCERS_**, and **_RENT_**."

Roger and Joanne both leapt up as the door opened and all the characters from_ Cats_, _Wicked_, _Sweeney Todd_, _Jesus Christ Superstar _and _The Producers _came waltzing out, followed by Collins and Angel. Roger and Joanne exchanged nervous glances.

"Hey guys!"Collins greeted enthusiastically.

"Where are Mark and Maureen?!"Roger and Joanne demanded.

"Well gee, it's nice to see you too,"Angel huffed.

"They've been obsessing over this all morning,"Benny assured them.

"Too bad we missed that,"Collins said sarcastically, joining Benny at the small table under the **RENT **sign indicating their section of the room.

Then Mark and Maureen came out the door, laughing and talking. Roger and Joanne were beside them in a flash.

"What took you?"Roger demanded immediately.

"Yeah _honey bear_, where've you been?"Joanne asked, leaning in close to Maureen's face.

"There was an epilogue,"Maureen replied casually.

"That was one heck of a story, huh?"Mark commented with a grin. Maureen giggled.

"It sure was,"she agreed. "We have such good times, don't we Mark?"

"The best,"Mark insisted. And the two shared a laugh, thoroughly annoying their significant others.

"I _missed _you, Mark,"Roger insisted, trying to bring Mark's attention back to him.

"Aw, thanks Roger,"Mark replied simply. "Hey, are those muffins at our table?"

"Oh my God!"Maureen squealed. "Remember that story?"

"Yeah!"And the two burst into hysterical laughter again, running to the bowl of muffins. Roger and Joanne exchanged glares.

"Screw over-reacting,"Joanne declared.

"Amen to that,"Roger replied, as he and Joanne exchanged a high-five.

"Hey, where's Mimi?"Angel asked suddenly.

"Wasn't she waiting with Roger, Joanne and Benny?"Collins asked.

"She wasn't here,"Benny replied.

"Well she wasn't in any of the stories,"Angel said.

"Are you serious? Are we down another character?"Maureen whined.

"I don't think I'd say that..."Collins remarked suddenly.

Everyone looked to where Collins was staring. There was Mimi, sitting on Jesus's lap, twirling his beard and giggling like a little girl.

"Oh God! MIMI!"Angel went running over quickly as Roger and Benny tried to stifle their laughter.

"Leave it up to Mimi to become the new Satan,"Mark sighed.

"They always predicted Satan would rise from the RENT corner,"Collins agreed.

"Bye Jesus! CALL ME!"Mimi called as Angel dragged her back to the RENT table.

"Stop that! Do you know what happened to the last girl who had Jesus call her? She ended up dressed like a man and fighting with the French army,"Angel scolded. "Now leave Jesus alone before Mary Magdalene comes after you."

"I just want to connect with our Lord,"Mimi insisted.

"Then get down on your knees,"Benny replied.

"_Benny_!"Angel shrieked, shocked.

"What? I meant to pray,"Benny insisted.

"So Mark, how was your morning?"Roger asked, nearly sitting on top of Mark in an attempt to put some distance between him and Maureen.

"Fantastic!"Mark replied. "Maureen and I had at least four stories this morning, and all of them were just _hilarious_. You should have been there, Roger, it was a great time."

"Hey Mark, remember that story "Test 1, 2, 3"?"Maureen said, leaning around Roger to talk to Mark.

"Yeah! That one was great!"Mark laughed.

"Oh God, I nearly wet myself it was so hysterical!"The two burst into laughter just thinking about the story, causing Roger and Joanne to nearly explode.

"That's it,"Roger declared, grabbing Mark's scarf.

"Roger? What are you doing?"Mark asked, confused.

"It's time for Mark/Roger cliche number ten,"Roger replied, tying the scarf around Mark's wrist and yanking him away from Maureen.

"Aw, did Roger finish the list of Mark/Roger cliches without me?"Angel asked, pouting.

"Don't worry, there will be many more to come,"Collins assured her.

"It's getting closer to Christmas. That means there'll be a lot more snowball fight stories,"Maureen pointed out.

"And Hanukkah stories,"Mimi added. "People seem to think Mark's religious heritage is extremely funny."

"I know, how many Bar Mitzvah's have we been to over the past few months?"Collins agreed.

"Let's celebrate Kwanza this year!"Maureen cried excitedly. The others all eyed her for a moment. Then Angel shrugged.

"We're bohemians. We can do whatever the hell we want,"she decided. Then she frowned. "Hey, why do author's always refer to me in female pronouns? I'm a drag queen, I'm not ACTUALLY a girl."

"Well, to be fair, we all call you 'she' in the play/movie,"Collins pointed out.

"Did I ever get a say in that? Did anyone bother to ask me which pronouns I'd rather be referred to with? DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS?!"Angel bellowed.

"Would you rather be called 'he'?"Joanne asked.

"Oh God no, that's way too masculine,"Angel replied, disgusted. Joanne was about to argue but Collins just shook his head.

"Don't bother,"he said.

Suddenly a little boy on a broom came whizzing by over their heads, nearly knocking Angel's wig off.

"Hey! Watch it!"she screeched.

"Was that...Harry Potter?"Benny asked, frowning. Collins sighed.

"Unfortunately,"he replied.

"What's he doing here? He's not a play, or a musical,"Benny pointed out.

"People have been writing RENT/Harry Potter Crossovers lately,"Collins explained.

"You know, it wouldn't be so bad if he weren't such a fucking little diva,"Maureen snapped viciously. "He thinks he's better than us because he's sold millions of copies all over the world. Well, Harry Potter, PEOPLE LOVE _RENT_!"

"Maureen, _RENT _is one of the most controversial musicals of the 1990's,"Collins remarked. Maureen paused.

"Well at least we're not _witches_..."she growled.

"Has anyone seen Mark and Roger since their last irrelevant piece of dialogue?"Joanne asked suddenly, looking around for their friends.

"Hm. Now that you mention it, they seem to have disappeared completely from this story,"Benny realized.

"Wouldn't be the first time. Characters are always randomly popping in and out of stories, some never coming back again,"Joanne explained.

"Whatever happens to all those OC's when their stories end?"Mimi wondered. "Because I have a collection of straight, gorgeous boyfriends somewhere."

"I heard they get their own room with a snack bar and a hot tub,"Maureen said.

"No way!"Angel gasped.

"Well I heard they disappear forever if they're not brought back for a sequel,"Benny said.

"No way!"Angel gasped.

"Well I heard they're really just holograms used in the stories and then they blow up when the story ends,"Maureen countered.

"No-"

"OKAY! We get it. There are lots of theories about what happens to OC's when the stories are over,"Collins interrupted. "But that still doesn't solve the problem of our missing friends."

"Oh yeah...I forgot about them,"Angel said.

"Maybe they're in the OC room with the snack bar and the hot tub!"Maureen cried.

"That's not real,"Benny snapped.

"It is too! I've seen it!"Maureen lied.

"Hey! Guys! Let's try to stay focused here,"Collins insisted.

"What's going on?"Everyone turned to see Mark and Roger, sitting at the table as if nothing had happened.

"Where have you two been?"Collins demanded.

"Sitting right here. The author just didn't have anything quirky and funny for us to say, so we were temporarily left out of the story to give you guys something to talk about,"Roger explained.

"And to give Joanne something to say for once,"Mark added.

"Aw, thanks guys,"Joanne replied.

"But now that we're back, we're going to take all attention away from Joanne again,"Roger stated. Joanne sighed.

"It was nice while it lasted..."

"Mark, we need to talk,"Roger declared, ending the other's previous discussion by pulling the attention of the story back to him.

"What about?"Mark asked innocently.

"_Innocently_? Why's he so _innocent_?"Roger demanded.

"Roger!"Mark whined.

"Right. Sorry."Roger turned back to Mark. "I don't want you hanging around Maureen."

"But Roger, we're just friends,"Mark insisted.

"That's what all characters say when they're really cheating/about to cheat!"Roger cried.

"You don't trust me?"Mark asked, pouting, as his eyes began to well with tears.

"Okay, how over-dramatic is that?"Roger snapped.

"Roger, stop interrupting the author and end this God damn scene so we can move on with the story,"Collins grumbled.

"Okay, okay,"Roger sighed. "Mark, I do trust you. I just don't trust Maureen, because we all know she's a cheating skank."Mark shrugged, nodding.

"Can deny that one,"he agreed.

"Hey!"Maureen cried. "Joanne, defend me."

"What? They're-"Joanne stopped, catching the death glare from her girlfriend. "Mark, Roger...shut up."

"Well that was simple,"Roger commented.

"Yeah well, four chapters is pushing it for this story anyways. We're running out of creative things to do,"Mimi pointed out. "So to help the situation, I think I'll go hook up with Jesus."And Mimi was gone before anyone could protest.

"How anti-climactic was that?"Benny snorted.

"Well the story's not over yet,"Angel pointed out.

"How do you know?"Joanne asked.

"Because the annoying voice hasn't come over the intercom. Every chapter so far has ended with the voice on the intercom. So we just have to wait for it."

The RENT crowd grew silent as they waited for their signal for the end of the story. They waited. And waited. And waited.

"Well this blows,"Benny sighed. "Screw this, I'm going to join _Sweeney Todd_ again."

"And we're going to go work on Mark/Roger cliche number 42,"Roger said, grinning and grabbing Mark's hand. Mark frowned.

"Which one is that?"he asked.

"You'll see..."

"And we're going to go try and keep Mimi from doing anything she'll regret later," Joanne decided, dragging Maureen away. Angel and Collins sat alone. Then they grinned evilly.

"Now we can take over this petty story!"Collins announced.

"I knew it would work if we could just get rid of everyone else!"Angel agreed, laughing maniacally.

"It's ours now!"The two shared a bout of evil laughter, as thunder rumbled from virtually nowhere.

Unfortunately, no one wants to read Collins/Angel stories, no matter how cool their special effects and maniac laughter are.

Thus ends the chapter.

* * *

**A/N: I would just like to let everyone know I LOVE Collins and Angel. But if you've been reading this story, you know I pick on them relentlessly. And I couldn't think of a better way to end this chapter.**

**So anyways, my school just finished our fall musical, _Beauty and the Beast_, so I have time to write now! It usually takes me a while to update this story, because each chapter is like a new story, but keep sending me your ideas and I'll try to stick 'em all in Chapter Five(which may be the end, because as Mimi pointed out, four chapters is pushing it) Thanks for reading this insanity!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

All the RENT characters sat in their corner of the ten-minute break room, gawking at the _Sweeney Todd _corner in awe and admiration.

"... so who else is REALLY glad that they cast Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd in the new movie?" Mimi asked, gazing at new-Sweeney.

Collins, Angel, Roger and Mark all raised their hands eagerly.

"And who else is really glad that they cast Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett?" Maureen asked, as she and Joanne threw up their hands.

"She's kind of weird-looking..." Mark said, wrinkling his nose.

"But have you _seen _the size of her boobs?" Maureen cried. "She's fucking hot."

"Even I have to agree there," Benny jumped in. "As a matter of fact, I think I might head back to _Sweeney Todd_ again..."

"Please, Benny. That joke is so old," Mimi snorted.

"Most of these jokes have been used at least seven times already, Mimi," Collins pointed out.

"I'm actually surprised we even managed to squeeze this fifth chapter out. I thought the author was done with us, since RENT was pretty much just her freshman-year-obsession," Roger remarked.

"Well who could resist writing about _us_?" Maureen asked.

"Lots of people. Remember chapter two?" Joanne recalled.

"_We_ sure do," Angel said, eyeing Collins, who grinned widely.

"Whatever. The point is, we got our last chapter—now what the fuck do we _do _with it?" Collins asked.

"We could always go hunting for the hidden room of OC's!" Maureen cried excitedly.

"Which doesn't exist!" Benny retorted.

"I'll prove it!" Maureen challenged.

"Fine! Do it!" Benny replied.

"... fine! I will!" Maureen screamed back.

And she stormed out of the room.

"Is that _seriously_ our central conflict?" Mark groaned.

"Oh shut up! This story has practically revolved around you and Roger for the past four chapters!" Mimi snapped.

"Yeah, heaven forbid the attention should go to anyone else for a split second!" Angel chimed in.

"Hey! That is SO not our fault!" Roger defended. "I can't help that I am just _so_ damn attractive to this author..."

"Well you'd be more attractive if you were a lion, a witch or a wardrobe," Collins snorted. Roger stared at him for a moment.

"I must say, I've never heard that one before. Is it like 'salted'?" he asked.

"No. I mean the author is ditching us to write about _The Chronicles of Narnia_!" Collins grumbled.

"Jeez, talk about a switch," Joanne remarked.

"I know, right? Besides, we are WAY more entertaining than some stuffy old British books about wizards!" Mimi said.

"...they're not about wizards," Collins replied.

"See? No one even knows what they're ABOUT!" Mimi cried.

"Hey RENT-characters!" Judas called, running over from the _Jesus Christ Superstar_ corner. "There's a crazy dance party going on in the _Superstar_ corner! You guys should totally check it out."

"Why are you inviting us? You never invite us to your wicked-cool-ancient-Israel-dance-parties," Roger remarked.

"Oh, well, you guys looked kind of bored. No central conflict or anything," Judas said.

"We don't need your pity invites! We are having the best time in the world over here!" Roger cried angrily. "Right Collins? ...Collins?"

"SOULJA BOY! SOULJA BOY!" the Disciples were chanting, as Collins supermaned-that-hoe in the middle of the crazy dance party.

"Collins!" Roger shouted.

Collins came running back over to the RENT corner, out of breath, and laughing hysterically.

"Aw man! That party is _ill_!" he said, patting Judas's shoulder. "Jesus was really tearing it up. Not to mention Elphaba and Galinda–they've got madd skillz! And who knew Sweeney could pop lock and drop like that? Huh?"

"Collins, stop speaking ghetto and stay in our corner!" Roger whined.

"Hey Collins! Judge Turpin's playing Low! Get ova here!" Elphaba called.

"Aw yeah! Apple bottom jeans, here I come!" Collins cried, running away.

"Collins! COLLINS!" Roger screamed. Judas just grinned.

"I'll be seeing you in a few," he said, strolling off.

"You SO will not!" Roger called after him. "Come on Mark, we have to do something to make this story more interesting!"

"Shh," Mark hushed. Roger frowned.

"What? Why are you shushing–"

Mark raised up a small, rectangular device.

"Oh my God! Is that the new iPod video?" Roger asked, jaw dropping.

"Yes, and I am smack dab in the middle of a bootleg version of _No Country For Old Men_. So hush!" Mark snapped, returning his attention to his tiny screen.

"... do you have _Juno_ on there?" Angel asked suddenly, leaning over.

"Yup. And I just finished _Atonement_ last night," Mark replied.

"Oh my God! Was it better than _Michael Clayton_?" Angel gushed.

"Better than _Michael Clayton_, not as good as _La Vie En Rose_," Mark explained.

"Of course not, that Marion Cotillard is so talented!" Angel said.

"Oh my god, I know, right!" Mark replied, as the two giggled.

"...oh my God, I think I'm straight," Roger said suddenly.

Mark and Angel both whirled around, staring at Roger in horror.

"..._what_?" Mark asked.

"Dammit, I am SO straight! I can't believe I didn't realize that!" Roger cried. "MIMI! COME BAAAACCCCCKKKK!"

"Don't get your hopes up, honey! She and Jesus are gettin' it on to Low over there!" Angel called after him.

"I can't believe that! What a bastard!" Mark cried.

"There, there sweetie. Collins and I are always up for a threesome," Angel comforted him.

"... why am I even still here?" Joanne asked suddenly, having not spoken a word since mocking the author's conversion from RENT to Narnia.

"That's a good question. Why ARE you here? You never do anything useful," Mark pointed out. Joanne shrugged.

"Someone's gotta say the filler lines," she said.

"Girl, is that all you think you're good for?" Angel asked suddenly. Joanne frowned.

"... I believe that's the point we're trying to make, yes," she said, confused.

"Are you gonna settle for that?" Angel asked.

"What am I supposed to do?" Joanne asked.

"Change things yourself!" Angel proclaimed. "I mean, just look at Benny! He wasn't getting any attention, so he switched stories!"

"I could never do that..." Joanne insisted.

"Why not? They're always singing about you over there in the _Sweeney Todd_ corner!" Angel pointed out.

"That's _Johanna_," Joanne corrected.

"Close enough," Angel dismissed. "Look, you've gotta get out there and change things up a bit, girlfriend!"

Joanne pondered this for a second... and grinned.

"You're right," she declared. And with that, she ran into the middle of the room, leaping up onto a chair. "HEY JESUS!"

"Yeah?" Jesus, who was acting as DJ over at the crazy-Jewish-dance-party, called back.

"Hit me up with some Kanye, cuz I am ready to bust a move!" Joanne cried.

"Chyea girrrrl! Holla!" Jesus shouted.

And Joanne whipped off her suit jacket, running over to the _Superstar_ party.

"Well way to go, Angel. Now we've lost Collins and Joanne to a bunch of gangsta' Jews, Maureen and Benny to a room that doesn't exist, and Roger to women," Mark pointed out. Angel shrugged.

"Who cares about them anyway?" she asked. "Everyone knows we're the favorites."

"Can't deny that," Mark agreed.

"AHA!"

Maureen came bursting through the door triumphantly.

"Did you actually find the mysterious, secret OC room?" Angel asked.

"Huh? Oh, no. Turns out they just kind of disintegrate right after they're done being used in stories," Maureen replied.

"... then why did you scream 'aha'?" Mark asked.

"I didn't," Maureen replied.

"Yes you did. Just as you came through the door, you yelled 'aha'," Angel said.

"Um, no. Wasn't me," Maureen insisted.

"Yes it was! We just saw you!" Mark cried.

"Whoa buddy! Pretty sure you can't _see_ someone _say_ something!" Maureen said.

"Oh dear Lord, sometimes I feel like I'm in the nuthouse..." Mark muttered.

Toby stopped where he had been walking, glaring at Mark.

"Oh, sorry Toby. No offense," Mark apologized, and Toby continued to trudge along miserably.

"Whoo hoo! That was awesome!" Mimi (who we never established as having actually left) suddenly came stumbling back into the RENT corner, laughing hysterically.

"Jeez chica, what have you been doing?" Angel asked curiously.

"... sitting alone in the abandoned _Sound of Music_ corner crying over the lack of attractive, straight males in this place," Mimi confessed.

"Mimi!" Suddenly Roger came flying into the RENT corner, landing face first before Mimi. She frowned down at him.

"What do _you _want?" she demanded. "To laugh at me? Mock my horribly loneliness? You have done nothing but make my life a living hell for the past four chapters, Roger Davis! You made me believe you loved me, and then you went and tore my heart to shreds! You have left a permanent scar on my heart, and thanks to you and your cold-hearted, bitter soul, I will NEVER, and I mean NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS, love anyone EVER again!"

"... Mimi, I'm straight!" Roger announced.

"Well why didn't you just say so?!" Mimi cried, leaping into Roger's arms.

"Aw, how sweet!" Angel said, grinning. Then she caught sight of Mark's angry glare. "Er, I mean, _gross_! What jerks!"

"Damn! For Catholics, those guys can throw one hell of a party!" Collins cried, as he and Joanne too joined the RENT crowd.

"... they're Jewish, Collins," Angel pointed out.

"Well damn, THAT'S why they kicked us out... " Collins said.

"So... here we are," Maureen said. "All back in the RENT corner."

"Mimi and Roger are back together... Collins and Angel are happily and G-Ratedly together... Maureen and Joanne are breathing..."

"Hey, where's Benny?" Maureen asked suddenly.

"He didn't come back with you?" Mark asked.

"No. He left after like two minutes. Said he was coming back here," Maureen replied.

"Quick, check the _Sweeney Todd _corner!" Collins said.

"HE'S NOT HERE!" the entire cast of _Sweeney Todd _called back.

"Huh... where could he have gone?" Angel asked, looking around.

"... who really cares?" Roger pointed out.

The others all shrugged.

"You're right, he's not that important," Mimi confirmed. "All I care about is you, baby!"

"And all I care about is you. And Mark, in a totally friendly, heterosexual way," Roger replied. Mark grinned.

"Thanks Roger. I'm sure I can come to appreciate our friendship even though we're no longer fucking," he said.

"Well _there's _something to slap on a Hallmark card," Collins said, rolling his eyes.

"You know, I feel like we've bonded more in the past five Ten-Minute Breaks than we have in any productions of RENT done by Broadway casts, National Touring Companies, or mediocre high school theater groups," Mark declared.

"Amen to that," Collins agreed.

"I love you guys!" Roger cried. "... in a totally non-homosexual manner!"

"We're a pretty awesome group," Maureen said.

Suddenly, the annoying, bored sounding voice rang over the intercom, signaling the impending end of the series:

"ATTENTION ALL FANFIC CHARACTERS! TEN-MINUTE BREAK IS UP! PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THE FOLLOWING LISTING OF STORIES AND CHARACTERS NEEDED. _**RENT**__. THE ENTIRE CAST OF RENT HAS A HUGE FIGHT AND SPLITS UP FOR GOOD__**. CHARACTERS NEEDED: **__ALL YOU LOUSY BUMS._ _**SUMMARY:**__IT'S PRETTY FUCKING SELF-EXPLANATORY_."

"... well, see you ass holes later!" Collins said, marching through the door.

"Thank God, I was getting so sick of you douche-bags," Mark sighed, following Collins.

And the others had to agree.

* * *

"Hey guys! Wait for me!" Benny cried, running into the door to get to the RENT story with the rest of the gang.

After several minutes of pushing through old fur coats, Benny suddenly tumbled into something very cold... only to realize he was laying face first in the snow. He sat up, looking around him. There was a lamppost a few feet away, and it was snowing gently from the sky. He stood up, and suddenly a half-man, half-goat came running up to him.

"'ello there, son of Adam! My name is Mr. Tumnus... welcome to Narnia!" he greeted. Benny grinned to himself.

"HECK YES!"

**And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end. Word up.**


End file.
